Bouncer
by YaoiPhox
Summary: Itachi needs into a club but the bouncer won't let him pass. Except on one condition... Smut. Oneshot. KisaIta. Possibly offensive to some? AU


"Name."

A large blue male demanded, his voice deep and strong, of a smaller male with long, jet black hair. The blue man was the bouncer to a popular but exclusive club. Only the cool, popular people were allowed entry. Itachi Uchiha was not considered cool nor popular around the neighborhood, but his friends were and they had invited him to this club.

"Uchiha. Itachi Uchiha." He answered somewhat nervously.

"Not on the list."

The problem was, his friends were morons. Neither remembered to update the list nor inform the bouncer. Itachi sighed and considered going home but then his friends would never leave him be. He also was extremely curious to find what made this club so great. He eyed the bouncer as though analyzing him, yet for what he was currently unaware.

Itachi's outfit was chosen by his most stylish, artistic friend. However that friend's style matched his occupation—whore. Therefore, Itachi was wearing a dark, tight, cropped shirt, bringing out his pale complexion and smooth abs. Fishnet was a popular choice for the whore and so that is what Itachi wore under that small top. Then there was the hip-hugging skinny jeans which his other friend insisted he wore. They were also dark and, being the masochistic twink's hand-me-down, they were shredded—up to his thighs.

His thin yet strong legs were smoother than most chicks could get and visible to all. Luckily he needed no help with the shaving—he was a perfectionist with that. His hair was styled by his only girl friend, a druggy and also a bit of a slut—he really needed to find better friends. The long, silky black locks were out of their usual messy and half-assed ponytail, bangs held back by rainbow clips. His friends had even forced chapstick and eye makeup on him, making his dark eyes seem colder and darker than usual.

"My friends must have forgotten." Itachi murmured. "Is there any possible way you could just let me slip past? Point them out to you? They're regulars here, real popular."

The bouncer frowned, shaking his blue head. Itachi watched the small, pale eyes trace over his body. Itachi decided to do the same, wondering if he was blue everywhere. His attire was a simple, somewhat tight, gray t-shirt, exaggerating his large muscles. His dark blue jeans hid his legs and crotch, unlike Itachi's own jeans. He was sure his bulge was beginning to become obvious to the bouncer.

"Is there anything at all I could do to change your mind?" Itachi inquired, keeping up a cool, indifferent attitude.

Normally, Itachi would never be so desperate. Unfortunately, his little brother was in this club. He had not seen his baby brother in ages and longed to see him again. He especially hoped to pull his brother away from the kind of crowd he had been forced to hang with. Whores, druggies, thugs, criminals, homosexuals; he wanted his brother to be none of these. If he had to degrade his own innocence to protect his brother's, he would do it in a heart beat.

"I don't think there is." The bouncer replied, "I heard you Uchihas were good little citizens. High up in society's rank. Club Akatsuki doesn't have room for that type."

"Well, they're all dead and I was to blame. I'm low in society, believe me." Itachi played it cool, scoffing.

"So what are you then? A whore? A dealer? A gambler?" The bouncer listed a few more that were common in the area.

"I'm desperate." Itachi said, once more eying the man. "I'd do anything to get in..." He tried not to let his confident tone falter, but the man picked up on it.

"Alright then. My shift's about over. I'll let you in on one condition." The man smirked, revealing shark-like teeth.

"What is it?" Itachi did not voice his relief, afraid of the condition given.

"You become a whore—my whore."

Itachi flinched but begrudgingly agreed to the condition, his stomach clenching with unease. Itachi followed him inside the club as a new man with several piercings and an unattractive, chubby figure replaced the blue bouncer. Itachi was grateful he considered the man in front of him to be at least a little attractive. It was then he realized he did not have the man's name and he tapped his arm.

"Um, I forgot to ask your name."

"It's Kisame." He replied, taking the Uchiha's small, smooth hand in his larger, rougher hand. "Now where are those friends you were talking about?"

Itachi looked around, his eyes already burning from the smoke and his ears and head throbbing from the pounding music. There were quite a few women, dressed in barely anything, weaving among horny men, hooting and calling to them. He soon found the section of the club where mainly men gathered and started to lead Kisame there. He spotted a gray haired male straddling the lap of a scarred man in purple, clearly occupied. However that did not stop Itachi.

"Hidan!" He shouted above the noise.

"Mn, hey bitch." The man moaned as the elder bit and nibbled his neck "About fucking time you got here. Blondie's grinding the puppet over there."

"Oi, if you're gonna talk to my bitches you better have money." The scarred man growled, tugging Hidan's head back by the hair.

"Ow, fuck Kakuzu! Not the hair, damnit. Besides, he's my friend." Hidan snapped, pulling at a stitch on the man's cheek. "Now bite me harder."

"So you're friends with Kakuzu's whores?" Kisame snickered once they had successfully sneaked away from the horny couple.

"I guess so." Itachi grumbled, stomping over to a nearby corner. "Deidara, where the fuck is my brother?"

"Well now, someone's being a moody bitch, hm~." The blond moaned, grinding his hips on a redhead whose face expressed a bored look. "Sasuke's over with that redhead slut, platinum freak, and the big sensitive guy, un~." He moaned again.

"Kisame, Pain wanted to see you in his office." The short redhead said with a pant.

"Oh. Alright. Keep an eye on this kid for me though, man."

Kisame placed a hand on Itachi's shoulder then disappeared around a corner. Itachi gave a small sigh of relief then left his friend to search for his brother. He found him after awhile in the corner adjacent Deidara's corner. Sasuke had not seen him yet, engaged in a conversation with the only girl. She was clearly on of the slutty types and Itachi's fist clenched.

"Sasuke."

"Itachi?" Sasuke started but was quick to glare at the older Uchiha. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you that, little brother." Itachi returned the glare. "You shouldn't be hanging around these whores and druggies."

"You are." Sasuke retorted smoothly. "In fact, you look like a whore, you pill popper."

"I'm not a pill popper!" Itachi scowled—Itachi had a life threatening disease and needed numerous pills to help prolong his life. "And you're my little brother, you deserve better than this trash." He motioned to the girl.

"Uh-oh, he just insulted Karin." The platinum haired male with a sharp snaggletooth whispered to the big guy.

"What did you call me, bitch!" She roared but Itachi did not even flinch—he was used to living with the explosive Hidan.

"I called you trash, a whore. This is a family matter so step aside." He glared coldly.

"Why you s-"

"Enough, Karin. Suigetsu, take Karin back to her side of the bar." Sasuke ordered his 'friends'. "As for you, big brother, you have no right to tell me what's best for me." He motioned to Juugo who's face suddenly went dark. "Take care of him. I'm going home."

"Sasuke!"

Itachi growled, watching his baby brother vanish into the crowd. He let a sigh escape and made to go back to his friends. Instead, Juugo blocked his path, glaring hard. Itachi took a step back, only for Juugo to take one forward. He cursed, looking for an escape. Nearby, Hidan had gotten off the lap of his 'pimp', looking around for his friend. A moment later Itachi was slid across the floor to his feet sporting a bloodied lip.

"Fuck." Itachi hissed, holding his lip, using Hidan's pants to pull himself up.

"Dude, what the fuck happened?" Hidan gaped, looking around for who had thrown his friend.

"Sasuke left one of his damn goons to take care of me." He spat, tensing as he caught sight of his attacker. "I should go, Hidan. I'll see you later..."

He took off into the crowd, darting to the door. Juugo followed from a distance as he left the club, stumbling down the sidewalk. Moments later, Suigetsu had joined Juugo. Inside the club, Kisame had returned from is boss' office, going to Kakuzu's side when he saw the argument with his 'partner' got more heated.

"I said I'm going home, fuck-face." Hidan snapped. "Itachi needs me, damnit."

"I said no, you haven't brought me any profits and Deidara's just getting started." Kakuzu growled.

"Kakuzu, you need to calm down." Kisame sighed, pulling his old friend back. "Hidan, I can take care of Itachi if you want. Where'd he go?"  
>"He went home. Outside." Hidan said reluctantly. "Juugo was after him."<p>

"Where's his home?" Kisame inquired.

"Um... probably Dei's since Kakuzu's fucking moving in." Hidan replied.

"He's homeless?"

Kisame seemed surprised but did not prolong the conversation. He was worried about his new boy toy. He hurried out the door, heading down the sidewalk to Deidara's place. He saw Juugo up ahead but no Itachi and tensed, picking up his pace. Then he heard a cry for help from an alley Juugo entered. He growled, entering the alley to find Suigetsu with a knife to the poor boy's throat.

"Let him go, 'coz." Kisame demanded.

"No way, you're not my boss!" He snapped, shoving Itachi onto the ground.

"I am your guardian, so you better listen." Kisame snapped. "Your brother would be seriously disappointed to how low you've sunk since he was a life."

"You leave him outta this!" Suigtsu snarled, bringing a foot down hard on Itachi's back, ignoring the pained coughs and wheezes he gave as a result. "Juugo, take him out."

Juugo hesitated but then ran towards Kisame, fist raised. Kisame easily dodged, tripping him and then pushing him to the pavement. He waited, pinning the young man under his foot until he seemed to calm down. He then glared at Suigetsu, taking his foot off Juugo.

"Go home, Juugo." He ordered the calm male at his feet. "Suigetsu, you too or I'll change the locks. See how bad ass you feel actually being on the streets for a change."

Suigetsu spat on the ground but followed Juugo out of the alley, brushing against Kisame along the way. The man merely sighed, crouching by Itachi to help him up. The younger was still coughing and Kisame waited calmly. Then he saw blood.

"What the hell?" He panicked, picking Itachi up. "We need to take you to a hospital."

"No, I'm fine. Just take me by Hidan's. I need my pills." Itachi wheezed, uncomfortable with the position Kisame had him in.

"Pills?"

Kisame sighed, going towards a nearby apartment building. Once they were inside, he went to an apartment on the lower levels, setting Itachi on his feet. The pale boy pulled out some keys and unlocked the door, heading past all the trash and discarded clothes to the even messier bathroom. He opened the cabinet and grabbed a paper bag, taking out four pill bottles. He took some of the pills, swallowing them dry before recapping the bottles and setting them back in the bag.

"I don't think I'll make it to Dei's. I'll be out like a light before that." Itachi sighed, stumbling to the couch. "Thanks for the help, Kisame."

"Don't forget, you're my whore." He smirked, biting back his flood of questions.

"Gee thanks. Help me pull out the couch bed..."

He threw some messed and ripped cushions off the couch and pointed to the handle. Kisame tugged the bed up and out, unfolding the frame and springy, lumpy mattress. He watched Itachi struggle to tear off his jeans, squirming on the bed while cursing them under his breath. Kisame chuckled, pulling Itachi's back on the bed, legs dangling off the bed. He quickly and easily tugged the tattered skinny jeans off, throwing them to the floor.

Itachi blushed deeply, his mind teetering on the gutter. Kisame smirked, leaning over the limp Uchiha, placing his hands on both sides of his head. Itachi's eyes darted away from the man and he hesitantly began to take off his shirt. He realized the mistake as soon as he felt sharp teeth make contact with his neck. He gasped in shock, jolting away from Kisame's teeth. He rolled into his blue arm and felt the man ease open his legs.

He quickly tensed, trapped as the bouncer slid his hips between Itachi's pale legs. He was still wearing his dark blue jeans but a moment later he had discarded his t-shirt to join Itachi's pants on the floor. He slid his rough hands up the pale sides, surprised to feel some major muscle under the smooth skin. He smirked, feeling Itachi shudder in pleasure and the pleasure was obvious when he ground his hips with his groin.

Itachi was breathing through parted lips, slowly relaxing. He reveled in the gentle kisses Kisame placed along his torso and let his own hands rub along Kisame's solid arms. Kisame smiled as Itachi began to explore, his heart pounding to find the shy male open a bit more. He licked a nipple, thumbing the other. Itachi's breathing hitched in surprise and his blush intensified, his hands roaming up to his shoulders and then around his blue neck.

Kisame stopped playign with his chest and slipped his arms around it, gently lifting the young man. He brought their lips together slowly and they both let a few fingers twist in the other's hair, their lips moving together slowly. Itachi licked his lips and Kisame took the chance to slip his tongue inside, smirking into the kiss as the boy jumped in shock.

Itachi felt like his body was on fire as the kiss was prolonged and intensified. When Kisame pulled off, a small groan of disappointment escaped somewhat swollen lips. Kisame frowned, gently resting his thumb on the cut lip from earlier. Itachi licked the digit, leaning up to kiss Kisame's neck. He had never found time to do things like this growing up and had always been single. His only experience was experiments or attacks from Deidara and Hidan.

Kisame appeared to like the kiss on the neck, returning it but then turning it into a hickey. He ran his hand down Itachi's bare back, fingertips slipping under the band of his briefs. Itachi shuddered, bringing a hand slowly down Kisame's chest, abs, past his navel, and onto his pants button. Kisame nodded, nipping Itachi's ear. He unbuttoned the larger man's jeans then slowly undid the zipper, watching the large bulge increase its already monstrous size.

"Um, Kisame... according to Deidara... that's supposed to go up my ass, right?" He blushed, feeling Kisame's length.

"Yeah. I have some lube in my back pocket, Itachi." He murmured, licking the shell of Itachi's ear.

"Lube?"

Itachi's friends never used lube. Hidan liked it rough and bloody while Deidara was fine with using saliva and fingers to prepare himself. He was loose enough by now to where preparation probably wasn't needed to prevent pain. Kisame pulled the tube from his pocket, setting it on the bed by Itachi before pulling off his jeans. Itachi took a deep breath then slipped his hand between the front hole of Kisame's boxers, pulling out his erection.

Kisame saw a flicker of disgust pass Itachi's expression but was quickly replaced with fear. He sighed and kissed Itachi a few times in different places. He was used to his lovers reacting in such a way. After all, his penis was blue and larger than the average man's. He placed his hand on Itachi's groin, relieved to find it had not gone limp. Rather, his eyes widened, it was growing and Itachi squirmed.

"You're so big... and I never really had any interest in men... the only other manhood I've seen is my brother's... so..." Itachi blushed, struggling to think as his arousal increased.

"It's fine." Kisame smiled hugely, grinding the heel of his palm on the younger's bulge. "I'm going to get rid of these now." He whispered, pulling off Itachi's last article of clothing.

Itachi let out a moan as his member was freed, out for Kisame to see. The moan seemed to affect Kisame as his erection throbbed. He decided to be kind to the virgin and got on his knees at the edge of the bed, taking the slightly smaller erection in his rough hand. Itachi gasped and moaned again, cursing his eager body. Kisame chuckled, stroking his shaft slowly, amazed at the neat shaving job Itachi had done. He pulled back the foreskin with his finger, kissing the tip while looking up at his young lover's reddened, lusty face.

Itachi was watching him, analyzing once more. This time he had a reason—he would pay this bouncer back for all his help and love the same way. He was sure Deidara would be a huge help with it as well. He bucked, surprised when Kisame licked his scrotum. He, like most teenagers, had played with himself before but never had he been touched by a tongue or mouth. His hand instinctively went to Kisame's head as the man's tongue traveled up his shaft and up to the tip which was soon engulfed by the Kisame's mouth.

Itachi moaned again, trying not to buck up. Kisame was already going further down on him. His mouth was large like the rest of him so he had no trouble taking Itachi in completely. He pulled back up, sucking along the way and then went back down, his tongue moving against the heated skin. Itachi whimpered, threading his fingers through Kisame's short blue hair. He groaned when he felt teeth replace the tongue on the fifth trek down. His erection was throbbing by the time Kisame pulled off completely.

"K-Kisame..." Itachi panted, spreading his legs further.

"Hang on, let me prepare you."

Kisame smiled, kissing his navel before grabbing the tube of lubricant. He decided on four fingers, applying the lube on the four digits. Itachi watched curiously as one finger went to trace his entrance. Itachi moaned, muscles relaxing long enough for Kisame to thrust his slick finger inside. Itachi quickly tensed, squirming with Kisame's finger. He panted, waiting to feel the pleasure Hidan and Deidara would constantly brag about. Kisame let another finger join the first, rubbing noses with Itach's as it wrinkled in pain.

He slowly and steadily made a scissoring motion with the two fingers, kissing and nibbling his lover's neck. Itachi began to relax, biting his lips. Kisame began to prod around, going deeper into the Uchiha's tight heat. Itachi suddenly bucked, crying out in pleasure. Kisame smirked, brushing against his prostate again while the third finger slipped in. Itachi whimpered, squirming again but the pain was becoming pleasurable as his need for release increased.

"One more finger." Kisame whispered against his lips.

"No. S-Skip it. I want your cock now." Itachi whimpered, moving against the fingers.

"Are you sure?" Kisame frowned, replacing his fingers with his lubricated tip.

"Do it..." He twisted around so he was on his knees and forearms.

"Okay." He sighed, kissing Itachi's back as he eased himself in.

Itachi bit his lip, trying desperately to relax. As the entire tip was inside he started to regret his rush. Kisame was indeed very large. Too large. While he was busy cursing himself he failed to notice Kisame had stopped advancing. Itachi shifted, looking back at the bouncer. Kisame was watching his pained reactions.

"Why'd you stop?"

"You're in pain."

"I don't mind this... it's only temporary."

Itachi panted, moving back towards Kisame, taking more of his erection inside. Kisame let out a moan, leaning over Itachi as he pushed in further. He wrapped his arms around Itachi's torso, pulling out a little before thrusting in completely. Itachi cried out, his head resting on his arms, hands clenching the blankets. Kisame waited, catching his breath as Itachi's tightness overwhelmed him. Itachi moved his head to the side, placing a chaste kiss on Kisame's lips.

Kisame kissed back then began to pull out to his tip. His rough hand snaked its way to Itachi's throbbing erection and he slammed back in, squeezing his erection. Itachi groaned, his body trembling. Kisame kissed the back of his neck, stroking him before continuing to thrust. He started slow but deep, moaning along with Itachi's pants. He picked up the pace after awhile, pausing when he struck Itachi's prostate. Itachi bucked back, moaning loudly and Kisame lost it, ramming into him at the same angle.

"Oh god, Kisame~ harder." He cried, throwing his head back, "You're—fuck—so big~!"

"Mn, and you're tight, Itachi." He panted, thrusting deeper. "I'm close to losing it." He stroked Itachi in time with his thrusts, biting into his pale neck.

"Ah, Kisame~!" Itachi moaned sitting up with Kisame as he released.

"Itachi." Kisame moaned, holding Itachi close as he released within him, spreading Itachi's seed on the boy's skin. "So... mm."

"Kisame..." Itachi panted, kissing his lover sloppily. "I think I love you."

"That's good." Kisame murmured, pulling out and climbing onto the bed. "'Cause I love you, Itachi."

"We should do this again soon." Itachi murmured, nuzzling close to the shark as he pulled covers over them.

"Yeah," He grinned, kissing his forehead, "after your ass recovers." He grabbed a towel laying on the floor, gently wiping the blood and his seed from Itachi's lower limbs and entrance.

"Hm?" He murmured sleepily.

"Nothing." Kisame smiled, tossing the towel aside to pull Itachi closer.

–

"AGH! YOU GUYS FUCKED IN MY HOUSE AND DIDN'T INVITE US?" Hidan cried when he got home early in the morning, Kakuzu's arm draped over his shoulder, to find his friend and the club bouncer sleeping peacefully in the bed.

"Shut the hell up, whore." Kakuzu slurred. "Just take me to bed."

"And I am not a fucking whore!"

* * *

><p>You guys are welcome.<p>

: 3

I don't have internet as I write this so... yeah, I had a major issue with a virus. I thought I had permanently lost all my files so I became depressed. But I beat it in the end. Deleted the infected user account, miraculously managing to save my files on a new user account... However I'm not sure yet if Online Affairs is okay... I was working on it on a flash drive but I think that flash drive is screwed... so I might have to rewrite it again.

I'm gonna try working on my smut scenes for Grown Up (Growing Up's sequel). Growing Up should be updated by the time I have internet (which means soon after this oneshot).

Anyways... this was inspired by "Ode to The Bouncer" by Studio Killers. (You have to watch the music video. xD) The reason this isn't KakuHida is because in Psychiatrist and Stripper Kisame was a bouncer (and I seriously need to add more variety. Just about all my fanfics revolve around my OTP.)

Also, I'm writing a GaaLee with some Akatsuki action. But it's a slow process. XD

Oh, and I decided to type up Addicted (none of you know about this unless you've been on dA and read my meme...)


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